No Ninja’s Getting a Jump On Me

Spoilers...

How I Met Your Mother – “Landmarks” (B)

“Landmarks” was a good episode. From a straight up comedic perspective it wasn’t the funniest, but a large part of the reason why How I Met Your Mother has been as successful as it has is because they know how to capture the ups and downs of modern dating, and this was one of those episodes that did that brilliantly. I’d certainly rather watch a thoughtful episode like “Landmarks” over last week’s gimmicky, uninspired offering.

There were two scenes in particular that really caught my attention, both between Zoey and Ted. One was their late night conversation in front of the Arcadian, and the other was the scene that closed out both the episode and their relationship. Now I know there are a few people out there who haven’t liked the Ted/Zoey relationship at all, but I was really impressed with the way they handled it here. Ted’s late night conversation with Zoey was a very well written scene and great way to preface his decision not to defend the Arcadian. And likewise, his final words to her managed to hit on a much larger theme, like many of the best episodes in this series do.

TED: Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things.

And to me that made up for some of the comedic missteps. Don’t get me wrong, I liked Barney’s eerily accurate drawing of Lily’s boobs and I didn’t mind the groups’ idea for a judicial themed bar, but a lot of the other jokes just weren’t as sharp. Arthur in particular was off. He’s funny as a ruthless boss. There was never any need to expand the character past that.

I did find it surprising though that there was no mention of the mysterious wedding from the start of the season. I thought for sure with the season finale next week that we’d get at least some foreshadowing on that front, which probably means the wedding will be Punchy’s rather than Robin or Barney’s. A wedding involving one of the major characters was always a bit of a pipe dream but I was still holding out some hope that it may happen. Of course that doesn’t mean something else big won’t happen in the finale. You can check out some of my many theories here.

Some of my favourite lines:

MARSHALL: If you end an argument with a rhyme, it’s convincing all the time.

LILY: Wait, she’s going to let you name your kids Luke and Leia?
TED: Not if I knock down her favourite building she isn’t.

TED: Okay, first of all, no ninja’s getting a jump on me. I have the reflexes of a jungle (Robin slaps him) --
LILY: Tree?

And line of the night:

BARNEY: I can’t be unemployed Robin. My job is my identity, it’s who I am. It gives me the confidence I need to convince girls I’m a fighter pilot.

The Event – “One Will Live, One Will Die” (B-)

If Sophia is so tortured over what she has to do to the human race than why does it seem like every time she does something evil she’s holding in a maniacal laugh? Or for that matter, why did NBC decide to put the cliffhanger of this week’s episode in the preview from last. Needless to say, there were more than a few questionable decisions in this one.

The episode was primarily split between two main storylines – Sean and Vicky attempting to stop the release of the Spanish flu into a mall, and Simon and Sterling’s attempt to get Martinez an antidote. Sophia was kind of poised between the two, carefully watching the progress of her mall experiment while delightfully hamstringing now President Jarvis, all while seeming really torn up about the whole thing. Of the two I liked the former more than I did the latter.

Sean and Vicky, who have had a few decent weeks in a row now, struggled a bit in this one. Their mall storyline ended up devolving into a series of action clichés. The central command station in the mall was pretty stupid, as was the whole gunshot followed by a couple seconds of silence so we wonder who got shot (somehow I guessed it would be the anonymous henchman). And why did the virus release mechanism need a timer? It’s not a bomb, and they already established that the NTBs were immune to the virus.

Sterling and Simon’s storyline was a lot better, primarily because Sterling showed off some of the smarts we all knew he had. I particularly liked the way they escaped from Sterling’s residence by calling the cops on the CIA assault team. It was kind of the exact opposite of all the problems with Sean and Vicky’s story this week.

That’s not to say it was perfect. I don’t think anyone was really fooled into believing the predator strike from Jarvis killed Sterling and Simon, nor do I think it was a huge surprise that the massive arrangement of flowers the First Lady was carrying was hiding the antidote. But I’m choosing to ignore those flaws, a) because it was pretty damn satisfying to watch Jarvis get his comeuppance, and b) because it finally puts an end to all those Martinez in a hospital bed scenes they keep forcing us to watch.

The episode ended with Sophia infecting Leila with the Spanish Flu. This was of course the moment I was talking about in my opening that NBC managed to ruin with a misguided preview. I’m not entirely convinced that they’re going to kill Leila off, but it would set things up for Sean and Vicky to finally hook up, which the writers have clearly been hinting at the last few episodes. Plus, it would eliminate a fairly boring character, so win win. It probably doesn’t matter anyway though. I don’t see this show getting renewed.

House – “The Fix” (B-)

I’m starting to get to the point now where the patient stories aren’t doing it for me anymore. It’s really no one’s fault, certainly not the writers. After 7 seasons there’s just not a lot of ways they can surprise me anymore. Almost everything has already been done, and done to death. And honestly, I think the writers realize this as well. This week we got a double dose of patient stories. One encapsulated exactly what I just mentioned, the other was a surprisingly fresh take on the familiar formula.

Of the two patients I found the weapons manufacturer to be the most disappointing. I’ve seen the poisoning storyline before on this show, and nothing that came before that resolution was really all that inspiring. They barely even acknowledged the patient’s experience, tossing away a few throwaway lines about her occupation and then largely ignoring her for the rest of the episode.

House’s story with the boxer on the other hand was much more entertaining. It was funny, largely because House’s reason for wanting to help him was purely selfish (he lost a bet to Wilson), and far more interesting, because this patient was a reluctant participant in House’s diagnosis. House’s lack of access, both to hospital resources and the patient, raised the stakes each time he tried to make a diagnosis and kept the whole story feeling fresh.This is the kind of creativity the writers need to employ to give the traditional patient story a boost.

The real development in this episode though was House’s use of an experimental drug that regrows muscle tissue. My guess is that House’s leg experiment will end up playing some part in the season finale. With the episode ending on the ominous shot of a dead mouse that was on the drug, it’s not too far of a stretch he’ll end the season as patient instead of a doctor. I’d certainly watch that.

Afterthought 2: Electric Boogaloo

I just spent an hour analyzing a fake wedding. Even I’m disappointed in myself.

Spoilers...

Grey’s Anatomy – “White Wedding” (B)

Things are just rolling along on Grey’s Anatomy these days. It was only two episodes ago that Arizona proposed to Callie, and since then Callie’s recovered from her injuries and apparently planned an elaborate wedding, all while taking care of their newborn child. It’s really only been a handful of episodes since we even found out she was pregnant. They don’t waste time on this show.

So how did they do with the big wedding? Well as expected there was some good and there was some bad. Callie’s wedding build up was probably given the most screen time, and I liked how they handled her mother’s negative reaction to her daughter marrying another woman. I thought Bailey’s speech especially was fairly well handled.

But at the same time I couldn’t help but think they already covered this exact same storyline with her father. Don’t get me wrong, it was nice to see that he’d finally accepted her for who she is, but the subject matter didn’t necessarily need to be repeated in this one. I can see why the writers wanted to inject a little conflict into the storyline, I just wish they’d approached it from a different angle (focusing more on Arizona for example).

I also thought that while it was a nice scene to see Callie’s father come back to dance with her, it didn’t really make a ton of sense why she sent him away in the first place. As devastating as her mother’s reaction was, her father was the only in either of the families making a concerted effort to get along. She told him to leave for the sake of his marriage but we were never privy to that relationship before this episode and because of that Callie’s motivation didn’t really connect with me.

So Callie’s story ended up taking up a lot of screen time and I think the writers struggled to fully develop Arizona’s subplot because of that. I really liked the scene where Arizona cried over not having her brother there to see her get married. It was sweet, it was heartfelt, and it was the kind of moment you don’t often get to see in wedding storylines such as this one. It just seemed like it came a little out of nowhere though. I mean she had a nice talk with the brother of one of the children in Karev’s program, and she did mention something to her father about a moment of silence for her brother, but for the most part her feelings were ignored in this episode in favour of Callie’s storyline and I think that’s a shame.

The big surprise in this episode though, is that there were not one, but two weddings, with Derek and Meredith getting caught up in the whirlwind of adopting a child and heading down to courthouse on a whim. Grey’s Anatomy really got a second wind when they put the Meredith and Derek drama to rest, so I was happy to see them finally make their marriage official, especially with trouble looming on this FDA trial.

Apparently I was wrong last week when I said that there was no one at Seattle Grace who would turn Meredith in for altering the trial, as Karev threatened to do just that in this one. I’m still not entirely clear where they’re taking this storyline yet and with season finale just a couple of episodes away I kind of wonder if it’ll end being more serious than previously anticipated. Grey’s has been the master of the season finale over the past couple of seasons, so it’s entirely possible that this trial could end up having dire consequences for Meredith or Derek.

But back to the episode at hand, I do want to commend the writers for some of the side stories in this episode. Considering the magnitude of the main storylines, they were really quite strong. Kepner and Stark had a particularly great week together and Avery and the Chief’s mouse plotline was pretty hilarious as well, especially the fact that Avery did $8000 worth of scans just to figure out what was wrong with one of his rodent test subjects. This may not have been the strongest offering from the series this season, but at least they kept things enjoyable with these little subplots.

Song(s) of the week

This week’s pick:

“Devil Town” by Daniel Johnston, performed by Tony Lucca

Where I found “Devil Town”: I just finished watching the final season of Friday Night Lights and was absolutely blown away. That show has to be one of the best dramas on television over the past 5 years. So to honour Friday Night Lights I picked out my absolute favourite song from the series, Daniel Johnston’s “Devil Town”.

What I like: This song is covered a lot so I’ve posted a few versions below, including the Daniel Johnston original (Daniel Johnston has an extremely interesting story, so Wikipedia him if you get a chance). I love the song because despite its childish lyrics and repetitive nature, it actually carries a really poignant message. I’m biased because it’s the Friday Night Lights version, but I do think the Tony Lucca version is the best arrangement. The song is really only two verses repeated over and over again, so to make the song work longer than the haunting minute long original you need some variety, and for my money Tony Lucca does that better than anybody.

Enjoy!

Devil Town - Tony Lucca

Devil Town - Daniel Johnston

Devil Town - Bright Eyes

More Juice Miguel

Spoilers...

Community – “A Fist Full of Paintballs” (A)

Whenever Community hauls out the altered title music, you know what follows is going to be something special. The original paintball episode is pretty much a hallmark of the series. That’s when this show really cemented itself as one of the finest comedies on television. Needless to say, the sequel had a lot to live up to, and it did just that.

Dragging out the western theme was brilliant. Last year’s “Modern Warfare” was more of a standard action/war movie parody, and while it stills remains my favourite episode from this series, part of what made it so enjoyable was how incredibly fresh it felt. Parodying the western genre was a fantastic way of bringing back the awesomeness of paintball while still giving the writers enough new material to do the premise justice.

And did they ever. Not only was the writing appropriately sharp in this one, but the directing was fantastic. Joe Russo deserves a ton a credit. This episode looked like a western. Not just a TV show trying to emulate a western, but a real, straight of the Clint Eastwood playbook, western. He stylized almost every aspect to make it feel authentic, and he did it right from the first shot. From Annie running down hallways with choppy jilted camera work, to Jeff and Chang leaping over the table to gain cover from the math club, to the extremely satisfying slow motion shoot out with the Black Rider (the perfectly cast Josh Holloway) the episode didn’t need to work to sell a single joke. It had already done so simply by the sheer embrace of its premise.

I was also extremely pleased that Annie took on such a prominent role. There are a lot of great actors on this show, but Alison Brie is one of my absolute favourites, and there’s seldom a scene or storyline she’s involved in that I don’t appreciate. It may just be me, but it seems over the past few episodes she’s been pushed to the background a bit, so to see her in such fine form here was certainly an added perk to this episode. I think Abed put it best:

ABED: She’s pretty awesome today.

And you could tell why her character was so front and center. Annie is the glue that keeps this group together. Sure Jeff makes the speeches, but it’s always Annie pushing them to do more with each other, and it was Annie fighting to keep them together in this one. The potential banishment of Pierce from the group added real stakes to the episode. Sure, they’ve gone to that well a lot this season, but the drama it added was worth the repetition. I actually felt sincere tension when Annie, finally fed up with Pierce’s antics, challenged him to a duel. One, because Alison Brie sold Annie’s heartbreak so incredibly well, and two, because I felt bad for Pierce. He’s finally alienated the one last person who still wanted him around.

Of course, they still managed to nail all the great little character nuances that make this show so funny in the first place. Jeff being incredibly insecure over the handsome Black Rider going to his school. The Dean, not only starting his paintball nightmare all over again (in yet another ridiculous outfit), but perking up just at the sight of Jeff entering the room. And Chang, betraying just about anybody who would form an alliance with him (you had to laugh at his “am I out” question after he was peppered with the paintball equivalent of a chain gun). It’s a testament to how brilliant the writing staff is that they can embrace the parody while still maintaining all the funniest aspects of these characters.

I can’t even wait to see where they take next week’s finale. The evilness in Pistol Paddie’s voice as he barked orders to his white clad army was simultaneously hilarious and ominous all at the same time, and judging by the preview after the credits there’s going to be an all out war at Greendale next week. Something tells me our study group is ready for it though.

My favourite quote/moments:

The Study Group’s Title Card Nicknames

-          Annie the Ace of Hearts

-          Abed the Jack of Clubs

-          Jeff the King of Spades

-          Brita the Queen of Spades (appropriate considering Jeff’s)

-          Shirley the Ace of Clubs

-          Troy the King of Clubs (best title card of them all)

ABED: Jeff wants to see you.
ANNIE: Yeah, and I want pants. A lot of people want a lot of things.

CHANG: The Math club has gotten a lot better since last year.
JEFF: Obviously they were practicing while the rest of us went on dates.

ABED: (in reference to the Black Rider aka Josh Holloway) Does that guy even go to our school? He’s really good looking, like network TV good looking.

JEFF: My forehead’s not that big right?
TROY: It’s not small.

JEFF: I’m not risking my but hauling ammo back for the guy who has Vicky dancing for Twinkies.
PIERCE: She’s a dance major Jeff! She loves Twinkies, and if you ever took the time to get to know her...

CHANG: Guys you don’t have to do this. I betrayed the math club for you.

BLACK RIDER: Sorry, I get paid to shoot paintballs honey, not the breeze.

JEFF: You think you’re good looking, but you’re not. You’re average. You’re just an average looking guy with a big chin.

CHANG: Hello? Anybody? Does anyone have an alliance I can join? I’m really loyal.

And line of the episode:

TROY: We just call him the Black Rider.
ANNIE: Okay, but he’s not really riding anything.
TROY: Look I don’t name people Annie. I’m a deputy. I deputize.

The Office – “The Inner Circle” (B-)

The first episode of the post-Michael Scott era.

Make no mistake – The Office is a different show now, and much like any new show coming onto the airwaves it still has a lot of questions left to answer. Hopefully over the next couple of weeks we’ll get a clearer picture of just what exactly the writers have planned for us. But while it’s important not to judge this new incarnation too harshly simply for not being the same show it used to be, from this episode it was obvious that Steve Carell’s absence has left a huge hole in the fabric of The Office.

It was visible right from the opening credits (literally). It’s like that old adage – you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone (or was that just a song lyric...meh). Not to imply I didn’t appreciate Steve Carell while he was around, but I didn’t realize how integral his energy was to the show. Michael wasn’t just a character, he was the setting of the show. Think about it... what made this office different from any other boring office out there is that the man in charge was a goof. You take away the goof and you’ve got any old office.

Now Will Ferrell’s Deangelo was a bit of an idiot himself, but not in the same way that Michael was, and it doesn’t matter because this was his last episode anyway (I was surprised the way they wrote him off to be honest). Michael was already established as the boss when we were first introduced to this series, and whoever they bring in will have to go through a feeling out period, which is going to be a very difficult balancing act for the writers.

I think the scene where I really noticed Michael’s absence was the lunch room scene between Andy, Jim, Pam and Angela (forgive me if I missed someone). It’s the kind of scene that would normally be interrupted by a curious Michael killing the vibe of the room, but instead it was just a typical lunch between coworkers. No one did anything too weird or inappropriate. They just talked about their new boss, which is kind of my point.

I’m jumping too far ahead of myself though. Until we find out Michael’s permanent replacement it’s almost impossible to judge whether or not this show can succeed without him. I’m sure the new boss will share at least some of Michael’s quirks, and hopefully they’ll also bring a few of their own. That’s the thing about this whole transition – while there’s a chance The Office will never recover from the loss of Steve Carell, there’s also a chance this new boss could completely reinvigorate the show. No one was saying The Office was in its prime when Michael left. New blood means new story possibilities, new relationships, and the rare opportunity to add a fresh perspective to a show going into its eighth season.

I mean as much as I’ve complained about this episode, it wasn’t without a few charms. I quite enjoyed Ryan and Kelly’s little story. Maybe now that Michael’s gone Ryan will get an expanded role. It’s no secret we’ve been seeing less of him over the past couple of seasons – I assumed it was because the writers didn’t know what to do with him anymore – but his storyline with Kelly this week made for probably the best Ryan episode I’ve seen in a very long time. It could be the start of the something.

My favourite quotes:

DEANGELO: (yelling) I don’t care what your favourite flavour is, here’s a bowl of ice cream. You either like it or you don’t. That’s my attitude right now in this room, that’s my attitude on ice cream Thursdays.

DEANGELO: Dwight, what’s your take?
DWIGHT: What’s the argument here? NBA or WNBA? One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.
DEANGELO: Man you are smart.

RYAN: So I am the new customer service supervisor --
KELLY: When Deangelo’s around.
RYAN: And I am also a very dutiful boyfriend when --
KELLY: All the time.
RYAN: All the time.

And line of the episode:

ANDY: I wrote my own companion piece to the Vagina Monologues called the Penis Apologies.

Parks and Recreation – “Eagleton” (A-)

God I hate those Eagleton bitches.

A rival town is exactly what Pawnee needed. It makes so much sense. Pawnee is already full of hilarious landmarks and colourful characters, they’re a huge reason why this show is so awesome. Why not give them a snooty neighbour as well? And if that snooty neighbour happens to have a parks department run by Leslie’s ex-best friend, all the better.

That ex-best friend of course was Lindsey Carlisle-Shay (Parker Posey), who acted as the perfect ambassador as we toured through what Eagleton was all about. I loved what the writers did with the snooty town. Sure it was over the top, but if you can’t laugh at something like the Eagleton holding cell than there is seriously something wrong with you.

POLICE OFFICER: We hope you enjoy your evening here at the Eagleton holding cell. Can I offer you anything? Herbal tea, Greek yogurt?

One of my favourite parts of the episode was the contrast between the two cities’ public forums. Pawnee’s was the same old crackpot convention we’ve all come to know and love, with one resident suggesting they burn down the fence and another suggesting they encircle the Eagleton fence with two of their own fences, so the people of Eagleton won’t be able to reach theirs. The Eagleton forum on the other hand... applause whenever somebody talked, valet parking, and what looked to me like a crepe bar.

And yet despite how much more high class the Eagleton’s townspeople are, it’s almost as if Eagleton and Pawnee are two sides of the same coin. Both cities have their eccentricities. The people of Pawnee may have shorter life expectancies and lower incomes, but Eagleton is so high strung they take decadence to the extreme.

TOM: Did you guys get your public forum gift bag? There’s an iPod Touch in here!

I really hope the writers haven’t finished with the great rivalry between these two towns. I would love to see Eagleton pop up again, whenever the writers can think of some sort of new, ridiculously lavish way for the citizens of Eagleton to flaunt their money.

And yet despite how fun it was watching the two towns go at it, watching Ron implode over Leslie’s discovery of his birthday was equally, if not more, satisfying. This was a fantastic idea for a Ron storyline, and every bit of the promise of its premise was paid off in this episode. The fact that Leslie decided to mess with him after her birthday discovery was just awesome. His scene with Ann especially (who also had a great episode in a supporting role) was a fantastic way of showing off his growing paranoia. I laughed out loud when he popped her balloons, and the way he kept cringing and swearing as she gleefully told him about Leslie’s birthday party for her was hilarious.

But just as Ron accepted that he was going to have to endure one of Leslie’s elaborate parties, she reminded us of exactly why these two make such a good team with a scaled down affair customized exactly to Ron’s character. Meat, violence, and absolute solitude. They may be two very different people, but what makes their relationship so great is the way they complement and respect each other.  That’s something those Eagleton bitches wouldn’t know anything about.

My favourite lines (there are a lot, sorry):

LESLIE: Ron refuses to tell anyone when his birthday is. He’s even had it redacted on all government documents. Three years of investigations, phone calls, freedom of information act requests, and still I had nothing. Until, a well place bribe to a gentleman at Baskin Robbins revealed... Ron’s birthday’s on Friday.

RON: Plus the whole thing is a scam. Birthdays were invented by Hallmark to sell cards.

BEN: Is the Eagleton side really that much better than the Pawnee side?
LESLIE: To be fair yeah. Our side is this scrappy piece of land where kids go to smash florescent light tubes... but it has a lot of heart.

RON: Whatever’s going on here stop it immediately.
APRIL: I was just talking on the phone.
RON: To whom?
APRIL: It was personal. I would never make a work related call, you know that.

LESLIE: What!?! I’m not asleep. I’m awake! I’m wide awake and I’ve got my eyes on you. That’s what I would have said if I... had thought of it in the moment. What did I say instead?

LESLIE: Yes Eagleton is nicer than Pawnee. And yes, because of their cupcake factory the air always smells like vanilla.

LINDSAY: And to every Pawnee citizen who might have a bright future if they fundamentally change everything about themselves.

ANN: You okay?
LESLIE: It was a rough night but I survived. Scone? They only have maple walnut.

LESLIE: But in my defence, I believe that assault should be legal if a person is a jerk.

LESLIE: Let’s go
ANN: Okay, can we just stop off at the lobby because the prison gift bags are amazing?

LESLIE: Introducing the Pawnee wiffleball league. It’s an idea that I came up with after my best friend Ann over there said she wanted to bash your head in with a baseball bat.

And line of the episode:

ANN: Oh my god Ron, it’s your birthday. Happy birthday!
RON: Shut your damn mouth.
ANN: This is a fun conversation.

30 Rock – “Respawn” (B)

This was a more scaled down season finale than I’m used to seeing from 30 Rock. Normally they have at least a few big guest stars to mark the occasion (like Matt Damon last season) and other than the exception of Victor Garber, “Respawn” was pretty tame in that regard. Of course that shouldn’t be too big of a surprise with the 100^th episode still a recent memory.

That’s fine though, because despite lacking the star power of some of the show’s previous season finales “Respawn” was still enjoyable. Liz and Tracey’s storyline was by far my favourite. Tracey was in fine form here as Liz Lemon’s summer house neighbour, coming up with all sorts of hilarious ways to unintentionally ruin Liz’s much needed vacation.

And I love that Liz didn’t take it lying down either. With Tracey threatening to cause problems for her if she moves out of her summer home, Liz took a page out Frank, Lutz, and Toofer’s playbook (and another unnamed writer who finally gained the courage to speak) and decided to “Respawn” by insulting a judge and getting herself sentenced to community service. Tina Fey was awesome in the aforementioned court room scene, and I loved the general upbeat nature of Lemon as she discovered that community service still satisfied all four of her criteria for a good summer.

I was a little more mixed on Jack and Kenneth’s story. I really loved Jack McBrayer’s impression of Elizabeth Banks (he was dead on) but there were times when Jack’s replacement of Avery was almost too creepy. When Jack had Kenneth wearing earrings or spooning on the couch it very nearly went past the point of being funny to an area where I was relating a little too much to how Kenneth was feeling in that situation.

Jenna’s wool council story however captured just the right amount of weirdness. Having Jenna try to follow a morality clause was a fantastic idea for an episode and Victor Garber played a great part as the head of the wool council. I loved how his character kept calling everything “very wool”. But more than anything, it was just great to get a glimpse into Jenna and Paul’s private lives. In some crazy, demented way it was kind of a sweet love story in the end... right?

My favourite quotes:

LIZ: All I have left is to pay the fine that I incurred for committing a hate crime against what the city is now claiming was a Jewish tree.

KENNETH: It’s an old Parcell family recipe. But I like to replace the Union soldier meat with boiled potatoes.

TRACEY: If I start screaming in my sleep, do not wake me up. I will attack you... (goes to sleep) Ahh, wake me up! Free me from this.

JONATHAN: You just made a very dangerous enemy Kenneth!
KENNETH: Thanks for the heads up Jonathan. Do you want to come to my birthday party?

TRACEY: Can I borrow a cup of sugar? I’m trying to get a humming bird to drink out of my penis.

TRACEY: Oh, I’m sorry. You didn’t want to live next door to your friend. After all I’ve done for you. How many times have I come over and painted your apartment?
LIZ: Three! And by the way stop doing that.

KENNETH: Now maybe I haven’t had a wife who was kidnapped but I have seen the Brady Bunch where Tiger runs away. We’ve all been through some bad stuff Mr. Donaghy.

JACK: I had the perfect woman. Gorgeous, brilliant, always let me be the hat in Monopoly.

JACK: God, are you punishing me because my hair is better than yours.

JACK: Sheri, put Liddy’s baby pant suit on, I’m taking her to work with me today.

JACK: What are you doing?
TRACEY: I hooked the ball into a truck on the Long Island Expressway, and Tracey Jordan does not take mulligans.

And line of the episode:

TRACEY: Hey guys, it’s me Tracey. The black guy from work.

Lady J Love Explosion

Last night’s Modern Family and Cougar Town. Stay tuned tomorrow for my thoughts on tonight’s NBC line up.

Spoilers.

Modern Family – “Mother’s Day” (B)

There wasn’t anything wrong with “Mother’s Day”. To be honest Modern Family is built for this type of fluff holiday, and all the different plotlines in this episode worked on at least some level. Was “Mother’s Day” the funniest episode I’ve seen from this show? Probably not, but it was a solid effort that entertained while it lasted.

Of the three main storylines in this episode, my favourite had to be hiking with Claire, Gloria, and the kids. It goes back to my own childhood being forced into long boring hikes. I never got the appeal of driving to nature and walking for hours, only to end up right back where you started in the first place. Hayley’s comment early on in the hiking sequence pretty much captured what it was like to hike with me:

HAYLEY: How much further?
CLAIRE: Well I’d like to go far enough that we can’t still see our car in the parking lot.

And that prompted Claire’s very funny speech about wanting to hit her kids... sometimes. What really sold the joke for me was the level of detail she put into it. It showed just how much thought she’d put into it. Like how lining them up like dominos and knocking them all over in one shot would be efficient, but would take away the satisfaction of being able to knock them over individually.

I also enjoyed the Phil and Jay pairing. The two of them have been coupled together before and their unique dynamic has always been good for a laugh. This episode took their relationship in a different direction however, with Jay letting his emotions slip around Phil this time. That’s not to say there weren’t a few good classic Phil/Jay bits, like Phil’s Julia Child impression and his attempt to break out into song and dance around an unamused Jay, but the storyline really picked up when Phil read a note saved by Jay’s mother. Jay’s crying incident was played well by Ed O’Neill and Phil’s subsequent “proud lion” monologue as he awkwardly tried to hug Jay was an especially nice touch.

Mitchell and Cameron also had a few of their own strong moments in their storyline, with Cameron taking exception to being treated like the mother in their relationship. The image of Lily standing outside her parents’ room with balloons in hand had to be one of the highlights of the episode for me. I also enjoyed the look on Cameron’s face as he was reluctantly pulled into a group photo with mothers from Lily’s playgroup.

All in all I enjoyed this episode for what it was. It may not rank among the best episodes this series has to offer, but it had enough good laughs to entertain me throughout, and enough sentiment to do its subject matter justice.

My favourite quotes:

LUKE: It’s a spear, and it smells like Lemon Lime, a flavour coyotes hate.
MANNY: Where are you getting your information?

LUKE: I say we eat what we kill.
MANNY: Oh, than I guess we’ll be eating the mood.
LUKE: I don’t get you at all.
MANNY: I know.

LUKE: You know more people have died hiking than in the entire civil war.
ALEX: Okay, what book did you read that in?
LUKE: Book? Wake up and smell the internet grandma.

And line of the episode:

HAYLEY: We’re your mother now.

Cougar Town – “Lonesome Sundown” (B+)

Finally! Finally they revisit that Trav proposing cliffhanger from all the way back in “Walls” (from almost two weeks ago now – things just seemed simpler then). Unfortunately, I think that also means we’ve seen the last of Kirsten, but I’ll just have to get over that. Travis will have new and just as funny girlfriends in the future... hopefully.

But the episode was so much more than Travis proposing, thanks in no small part to the glorious invention that was “The Council”. Of all the hilarious ideas that have come out of Laurie’s head over the past two seasons, The Council had to be one of her best. From the hilariousness of watching Bobby implode over his non-punishment punishment to Little Richard, Laurie’s punishment for coming up with the judgemental committee in the first place, there was seldom a scene in this episode that the presence of The Council didn’t elevate.

Of course Jules’ had a pretty good week council or no council, spending the episode living in squalor aboard Bobby’s boat. Actually, while Jules was quite funny on her own making fire Castaway style and warding off angry homeless men, this storyline owes quite a bit credit to the awesomeness of Dog Travis as well. Seriously, I don’t think there’s a funnier animal on television today. I’ll fight anyone who begs to differ. Okay, I might not fight you. But I don’t think I laughed harder in this episode than when Dog Travis licked Ellie’s face as the Cul-De-Sac crew drank coffee in Bobby’s boat. Please, if you can think of a funnier pet on television than hit me up in the comments.

I was also quite entertained by the Travis and Grayson storyline this week. After hilariously mocking Travis for what seemed like the 100^th time this season (keep ‘em coming, they’re still funny) Jules pushed Grayson to become closer with Trav, which kicked off this formidable pairing. The banter between these two characters is always good, and the looming proposal gave them both some first-rate fodder to work with. I especially loved the discovery of Grayson’s homemade jewellery business, and the fact that both he and Travis share an admiration for Lou Diamond Phillips.

But it wasn’t just the jokes that made this story work. Some of the conversations between Grayson and Travis were quite poignant, and I enjoyed the bond they developed over the course of the episode, culminating in Grayson’s hilariously weird “I love you too man” at the end of the episode. One step at a time Grayson, one step at a time.

My favourite quotes:

JULES: That is the first time I’ve heard Travis say I love you too without it being followed by “now stop watching me sleep mom”.

LAURIE: It is time for some justice, foster home style! Except without the coat hanger brandings.

BOBBY: Now remember, spark good, fire bad. That little rhyme might save your life.
JULES: Not a rhyme.

TRAVIS: Grab him, he’s going Gollum on us.

ELLIE: If you lose I have to start calling Stan by his middle name. I can’t say I love you Hector, it’s not in me.

JULES: You bet on me?
ELLIE: I believe in you... and I was hammered.

And line of the night:

ANDY: Hey, we go down, we go down together.
LAURIE: Andy, you’re absolved because you’re easily influenced.
ANDY: How do we punish him?

I'm Not Paying For Gas

My take on Monday night’s TV.

Spoilers...

How I Met Your Mother – “The Perfect Cocktail” (C+)

I’m going to give the writers of How I Met Your Mother a pass on this one. Cleary their minds were more on the upcoming season finale than on this episode. “The Perfect Cocktail” lacked the substance that’s made this season of the show so engaging, and because of that it ended up scattered, inconsistent, and gimmicky (well more than usual).

The main story revolved around Lily and Robin using drinks to solve a feud between Marshall and Barney. Apparently each different alcoholic beverage fosters a different reaction in each of the guys, and put in the right order can solve just about any disagreement, hence “The Perfect Cocktail”. Here’s my problem with that – we’ve been watching these characters drink since the inception of the show (at least once an episode) and never have we seen any of these reactions. Now don’t get me wrong, some of the jokes definitely worked – like Marshall’s mirror gag – but the quality between each phase (or drink if you would) was incredibly inconsistent.

The other major storyline in this episode was Ted and Zoey staying the night in the Arcadian. From a comedic standpoint it didn’t do much better than the previous storyline, consisting mainly of jokes surrounding the terrible disarray of the battered hotel. There was one significant development in the storyline however – Ted, seemingly out of nowhere, decided to join Zoey in protecting the Arcadian. It wasn’t a huge boost to the episode but it could end up playing a significant role next week.

It’s also worth noting that this episode featured two fairly prominent call backs to a couple of first season episodes. First, taken from “Milk”, was Barney’s method of pranking Marshall via photographs of disgusting things he’d done to poor Marshall’s stuff. And second, going back to “Matchmaker” was the return of the cockamouse, who is now apparently living in the Arcadian. Neither were huge, but I always like a good call back so long as they’re used responsibly.

But call backs alone weren’t going to save this episode. In the end “The Perfect Cocktail” felt like one of those episodes where they bent the characters to the concept more than the concept to the characters, and for that reason the comedy seemed forced. The episode could have benefited greatly from a little more substance in its plot, but I think lack of substance in general is what drove them to such a gimmicky plot, and that’s where I think the writers deserve a break. They’re coming off an episode where Barney spent a ton of time getting to know his father, a pretty significant event for his character, and next week they’re moving into season finale territory (there’s actually two episodes left, but both are written by Bays and Thomas who tend to take the more important shows). They clearly needed some sort of transition episode and unfortunately I think that’s what we got here. It doesn’t excuse the episode, but it understandable to say the least.

The Event – “Us or Them” (C+)

The word mediocre comes to mind. I’m sure I’ve said that before about The Event, but it’s sort of a recurring theme with this show. The characters aren’t compelling, the storylines are inconsistent and dry, and worst of all, there doesn’t seem to be anyone on that writing staff who knows how to give The Event any sort of direction.

Sterling’s story in this episode was one example. Sterling’s a smart guy, so in last week’s episode when he found evidence of the Vice President’s involvement in the assassination attempt on the President I was looking forward to watching him build his case and outsmart Jarvis. After all, that’s the kind of thing his character seems to do best. But instead, we saw him dim-wittingly accuse the VP to his face, get himself fired, and drag out an already tired storyline in the process.

One of the worst things I think a show can do is to try and draw out storylines by having characters make unintelligent and poorly motivated decisions. I understand why they want Jarvis to continue on as President – with somebody incompetent running the country it puts more emphasis on the supporting characters – but if you don’t have an intelligent reason why it should happen it hurt more than it helps. Sterling’s much too smart for his actions, and now his uncharacteristic reaction is a fundamental component of the plot. They’ve built the story around a pillar of incompetence, which now taints almost everything that comes next.

And because they wanted to keep the VP in the hot seat for at least one more episode, the President’s story didn’t move at all. Now I know, he’s in a coma now, but that’s hardly a big change from last week. The last two episodes have both finished on down endings where things didn’t look good for Martinez and they’ve consisted almost entirely of doctors working while his wife stands idly by.

Leila and Michael weren’t much better either. Michael death was certainly a huge change up, but that doesn’t mean it was an effective story beat. We never got to know Michael enough to really understand his motivations. He flipped flopped so many times over the course of this season that he wasn’t much of a character at all. First he was innocent pilot forced into an assassination attempt on the President, then he was an NTB enforcer, then he was a father trying to save humanity. And that’s not him being a multi-dimensional character either. He was used as a plot twist so many times we never really got to know exactly what made his character tick, and thus we never got enough depth from him to make his death (or potential death) feel meaningful.

The one bright spot in this episode was Sean and Vicky. You may recall I didn’t have high hopes for their storyline after last week’s episode, but they managed to impress me with the surprising intensity of the airplane sequence in this one. They do need to make sure though that next episode they make some sort of progress in stopping Sophia. They failed this week and that’s fine, but if they miss their opportunity again next week they’re going to become tiresome. Oh and Vicky totally wants Sean. I called that.

House – “Changes” (B)

“Changes” was about as average an episode of House as you can get. A typical patient story with some inter-team hijinks and some House/Cuddy friction sprinkled on for good measure. Perhaps we’ve been spoiled a bit of late with Thirteen’s return and Masters’ subsequent departure, but the stakes in this one just seemed lower. I will however give the writer of this episode some credit, because despite following the familiar formula, they did write a fairly entertaining episode.

Having Thirteen back on the show certainly helped. Finally House has someone on the team that can dish it out almost as well as he can. She didn’t have as much time on screen as I thought she would but her discussions with House about lotteries and fatalism were certainly some of the episode’s highlights. I also enjoyed some of her smaller moments, like the way she perfectly described how Cuddy always gives in to House as she went about discharging the patient, and how she talked the team into ignoring House’s orders by calling out one of the show’s conventions – “worst case we’re right and he’s impressed we defied him.”

House and Cuddy’s legal battle with her mother this week was a little more over the top, but entertaining nonetheless. I quite enjoyed all of their scenes with Wilson, especially the trios visit to Cuddy’s mother house and House’s, according to Wilson, B+ apology. I did roll my eyes a bit though when I found out the only reason Cuddy’s mother was doing all this was to get House and Cuddy back together.

I also thought Chase and Foreman’s little wager made for an amusing distraction from the conventional patient story. There were certainly a few good quips that came from that blood pressure monitor. My one complaint is that Chase in bed with the girl at the end there felt a bit tacked on. Was that supposed to mean something or was it just one more punch line at Foreman’s expense? I honestly couldn’t tell.  

The Afterthought Post

With all the excitement of Michael’s last episode and an especially strong episode of Parks and Recreation Grey’s Anatomy kind of got pushed to the back burner this week. I apologise. Without any further delay I give you Thursday night’s Grey’s...

Grey’s Anatomy – “It’s a Long Way Back” (B+)

Poor Henry. He just can’t catch a break with this Teddy thing. I believe it was last episode, or a couple episodes ago (it feels like it’s been a while... not remembering things will be a recurring theme in this article) where she told him that it wasn’t going to happen between the two of them. So he fights his way back into the picture by post gaming all of her terrible dates with her, and when things finally start looking good again, her psychologist ex-boyfriend Andrew shows up. He’s the one that got away... damn it! He’s actually got a real shot at stealing Teddy back. Well I guess all hope’s not lost, these things tend to go to the guest character we know best (and thus like best) and I’d say Henry takes that match up. It should be interesting to see who she ends up picking though. It’s a very intriguing love triangle. And yes I realize what a foolish decision it was to use a flurry of sports metaphors while reviewing an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The irony is not lost on me.

Anyway, it’s probably best I move on as I don’t think you could even classify Teddy and Henry as the C story. The real story in this one was Callie’s long, yet somehow incredibly short rehabilitation. I didn’t mind the storyline. Contrasting her recovery with that of baby Sofia was a smart way of structuring the episode, and Meredith’s narration was particularly strong in regard to framing what Callie was facing.

I do have one pet peeve though. Forgive me if I’m mistaken about this, but did Callie not have brain surgery in the last episode? I’m not a doctor so if the writers fudge the details a little on the more complex medical cases I’m none the wiser, but I’m pretty sure if you have brain surgery you don’t get to keep your hair. They did the exact same thing with Izzie a season or two ago and it annoyed me then too. There are probably a few people out there who disagree with me (I’m assuming Sara Ramirez is one of them) but I’d rather the show stay true to the medicine than worry about keeping the actors looking good. It’s personal preference I guess, but it takes me out of the show when they so obviously fudge the details like that.

It also looks like trouble is on the horizon for Meredith and Derek after this episode. There’s no way they’re going to let Meredith alter the trial without at least a little drama, especially the way they’ve gone to such great lengths to show Derek’s dedication to following FDA rules. This was the one storyline I was a little disappointed in. I thought it was pretty obvious that Meredith was going to attempt to get Adele the drug, and while the sequence where she slipped the active agent into her patient file was intense, there is no one in that hospital who is going to report her for it. The Chief is the person who would normally do that, and in this case it’s pretty clear that’s not going to happen.

In all fairness though, this could just be a building block to a much larger story. I say no one in that hospital would report her for what she did, but if Derek ends up finding out I’m not so sure he wouldn’t do something about it. There has to be some fallout and he’s the only one who’s expressed any concern over the integrity of the trial. Whatever happens though, there’s going to be a showdown between Meredith and Derek, and to really judge their story in this episode we’ll have to wait to see just how good that showdown will be.

But we are still on this episode, and if I had to choose my favourite storyline in this one it would be Karev’s.  I very much enjoyed Doris Roberts’ guest spot. Her character had great rapport with Karev (and by great I mean terrible but funny), and it was nice to see she actually thought enough of him to put him in her will. One of the best things the writers on this show ever did was to stick Karev in paediatrics. It’s the perfect counterpoint to his gruff personality and his character is infinitely more entertaining because of it. That’s why I’m so excited to see how this African children’s charity plays out. Looking at the preview for next week it looks like the kids are going to play a big part in the episode, so if anything it should be fun to watch how he handles it.